This cheat sheet is for everyone who wants to live fully their main relationship, for those who want to have greater satisfaction with their significant other, for everyone engaged in the path of self-knowledge, since without relationships, it is incomplete.
Relationships occupy much of an astrological consultation, and now, with the North Node, the Sun and Venus in Libra, it is the perfect time to face the issue. Venus is the planet most associated with attraction and relationships, and the sign of Libra rules over one-on-one relationships and marriage; therefore, we are now under an overdose of relational archetype.
Lots of people when they hear about the planet Venus, mistake it for the mythological Venus, the Roman version of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. This post is not about of love, because love is too transcendent to be analyzed astrologically. Furthermore, there are several kinds of love: love of country or the unconditional love of a mother for her child, which are different from the passionate love that inspired the Portuguese poet Camões when he wrote “Love is a fire that burns unseen…”
What worries most people is the condition of their primary relationship – husband, partner, boyfriend, lover. The third component of relational archetype is the 7th house, which represents the area of life connected with one-on-one relationships and marriage. It also acts as a mirror; note that the symbol of its ruler, Venus, looks like a mirror. It is the house of the “other” opposed to the first house and the Ascendant which symbolize our outward personality, our open window to the world.
A man does not know what he looks like until he sees himself reflected in a looking glass, and this simple truth applies not only to the physical reality but the reality of the psyche as well. Liz Greene, astrologer and Jungian analyst.
What we seek in others (7th house) contributes to finding these qualities in ourselves later and become more whole. The big problem is that we look for in others, that is, so much of what happens in a relationship, comes from the unconscious material. In psychological language it is called projection – the unconscious mechanism by which we attribute to the other qualities and flaws that do not have or will not accept in ourselves.
It gets more complicated! Jung said “All projections provoke counter-projection when the object is unconscious of the quality projected upon it by the subject”. In real life, usually manifests in a form mutual acting out where all 6 characters (counting the projections and counter-projections) scream and no one is right.
I have personal experience. During the collapse of my first marriage, I read a short poem by Jacques Prévert “Lovers betrayed” which resonated with me:
Draw a synastry between the couple’s Sun, Moon and Ascendant – Synastry is the usual technique to analyze a relationship between two people producing a level of compatibility based on personality factors. It indicates where it is more likely that there will be friction and understanding. If there are compatibility of elements among the Sun, Moon and Ascendant, there is common ground which makes a relationship easier.
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were married 50 years – only death separated them. In the entertainment industry it is a perfect record. Both had the same ascendant with the rulers in sextile, Paul Newman had the Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Pisces and Joanne Woodward in the Sun in Pisces and the Moon in Aquarius. Compatibility such as this one is rare. More common is, for example, A’s Ascendant is in the same sign of B’s Moon and / or both their Sun are signs of the same element.
Understanding the synastry between Venus and Mars – this explains the initial attraction and sexual issues which is an important component of any relationship.
But more important than the synastries is the analysis of the 7th house, the planets that inhabit it, the sign and the ruler of Descendent. It is the discovery of our projections, in what we think possible to subcontract to the “other” instead of assuming that trait in ourselves, that lays the answer to Jacques Prévert’s question. It is the unconscious left unexplored that sold the wick.
Of course our shadow material that will affect our lives including relationships is not limited to the 7th house. This is why I called this post a cheat sheet and not a guide. Other methods of self-knowledge are useful in relationship issues, but only astrology gives an immediate view of areas where the psyche sells wicks.